Weddings - Frequently Asked Questions
If you've chosen a church wedding, we would love to help you create a service which is meaningful and personal to you.
A book that may help you in preparing for both the big day and your future together is available from Church House Publishing: 'Growing Together? A guide for couples getting married'
Thinking about a church wedding?
Read our frequently asked questions to find out more:
Q/ What do Christians believe about marriage?
A/ Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.
Q/ Where can I get married?
A/ Many people like to marry in their local church. Visit www.achurchnearyou.com to find a church in your area, or, see the Church of England’s ‘where to find us’ section. You can also marry in a church if you are on that church's electoral roll.
However, we know that you might like to marry in a different church because it has special significance for you through family or other special connections. An engaged couple can now do just that if either of you can show just one of the following seven connections with the parish.
That one of you:
· was baptised in the parish concerned or
· was prepared for confirmation in the parish or
· has at any time lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or
· has at any time regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or
That one of your parents, at any time after you were born:
· has lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or
· has regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or
That one of your parents or grandparents:
· was married in the parish
In all cases involving church services - i.e. going to normal church services, baptism, confirmation or marriage - this applies only to Church of England services. Even if you cannot demonstrate any of the above connections, we want to help you explore whether it may still be possible for you to marry in your special church.
Talk to the Vicar there well in advance to discuss the options open to you.
Q/ I’m not baptised. I don’t go to church. Can I still get married in church?
A/ Yes! . Normally the parish priest will want to get to know you a bit and might ask you to some preparation meetings or church services before you get married.
Q/ How do I book the church?
A/ Booking is easy. Simply get in touch with your local Vicar. He or she will probably wish to meet with you in person to discuss your plans and get to know you a little before the wedding.
Q/ What if I want to be married in a different church?
A/ If you are a regular worshipper in that church, it is usually possible to be married there. Just speak to your minister.
If you are not a regular worshipper why not start attending? You will normally be expected to attend services for some time before becoming eligible to be married there.
If you have a good reason for wanting to marry in another church that is not allowed for in the new legislation, talk to the minister of that church. You can apply for a Special Licence if the minister agrees. To apply or find out more contact The Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, Westminster, London SW1P 3JT tel: 020 7222 5381
Q/ We’ve decided to get married abroad but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible?
A/ There is no reason why you shouldn’t do this, provided your vicar is happy. There is a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony and this can be adapted. There are no legal requirements or set fees.
Q/ I’m divorced. Can I still get married in church?
A/ The Church of England agreed in 2002 that divorced people could remarry in church under certain circumstances. We believe that marriage is for life, but also recognise that sadly, some marriages do fail.
Speak to your Vicar about your situation and there may well be a way forward. He or she will want to talk to you frankly about your past and your hopes for the future and will let you know whether they can remarry you. Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may offer you a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony.
A helpful resource, Marriage in church after divorce, is available on the Church of England web site.
Q/ I’m Church of England and he’s a Catholic. Does that matter?
A/ It doesn’t matter from the Church of England’s perspective. Anyone is welcome to be married in their local CofE parish church. (A complication would only arise if one of you has been married before.)
If one of you is a Roman Catholic and you want the Roman Catholic Church to recognise your marriage, you will need to seek the advice of your Roman Catholic priest about the permission required for marrying a non-Roman Catholic. Some clergy encourage couples in this situation to involve the Catholic priest in the marriage service too. See www.interchurchfamilies.org.uk for more information.
Q/What is marriage preparation and why do we need it?
A/ You will never make such big promises to each other as you will in church on your wedding day. A church wedding uniquely offers time and space to think through these vows and the difference they will make.
You are still two separate individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, hopes and fears. Churches recognise how seriously you take the commitment of marriage and offer an opportunity to talk through the big issues, sometimes as a group with other couples. Talk to your Vicar about what your church offers.
Q/ What are the legal requirements?
A/ Unless you are getting married by Common or Special licence, the normal way is to have your banns read out in church on three Sundays during the three months before your wedding. You would be most welcome to join the church community for the service and to hear them read. The banns must be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as the church in which you are to be married if that is in another parish.
If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.
There are circumstances where some form of licence, such as a common licence or special licence, is more appropriate. Your priest or minister will discuss with you what you need to do.
There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced (See question above).
Q/ How much will it cost?
A/ There is no doubt that the choices you make about your wedding day can make a huge impact on the cost. If you choose to marry in church, we want it to be a day that is personal and special for you, but that need not mean you spend a fortune.
There is a relatively small fee for marrying in a church. The fees are set by the Church of England nationally. The cost of a basic church wedding service is £313.50*, which includes all legal necessities. It may vary for you depending on your circumstances. These fees have ancient origins and make a contribution to the provision of a church in your community.
Flowers, an organist, a choir, bell-ringers, etc, are optional additional services that can be provided by your church. If you ask for any of these, then this will add to the final fee. You will need to work out all these costs with the Vicar early on so that you know what to expect on your final bill. It is good practice for the church to provide you with an itemised bill before your wedding so that you can see exactly what you will be paying for.
This figure is based on a couple living at the same address and marrying outside their own parish and includes:
· the fee set by law payable to the church: £254
· your marriage certificate: £3.50
· having your banns read at the home church: £22
· having your banns read at the church where you will marry: £22
· your banns certificate: £12
Total: £313.50
Q/ Can we be involved in planning the service?
A/ Yes. Your Vicar would also be happy to discuss hymns, other music and readings at your wedding. Plus, you can use our online ceremony planner to help you make a start at www.yourchurchwedding.org
Q/ Should we have one or two rings?
A/ It is entirely up to you whether you have one ring or two. A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of the commitment you are making to each other.
Q/ Can I marry in any other colour than white?
A/ Yes
Q/ Can we have a video recording of the service?
A/ Usually this will be fine, but you will need to ask permission from the Vicar. Some churches have a clear policy for recordings which tends to cover copyright issues.
If you are recording a person’s performance, e.g. an organist or choir, they are entitled to an additional fee, and there may also be copyright issues for recording the hymns or music played during the service. Copyright permission is not required to record the authorised words of the service. Your Vicar will know about these things and will be pleased to advise.
Q/ Do you have rehearsals?
A/ Many people are glad of the opportunity to run through the ceremony and church is the only wedding venue where you can do this as standard practice.
The Vicar taking your service will probably invite you to meet in the church along with other people taking part in the service before the wedding, to talk to you all about what to expect. Talk to your Vicar about what their church offers.
Q/ What about flowers in church?
A/ Many churches can do these for you at a reasonable charge and the flower arranger will be happy to discuss what you want. You can also do your own or engage your own florist.
Q/ May we marry on a Sunday?
A/ Yes. In fact Sunday is the third most popular day for CofE weddings. Just talk to your Vicar to make sure they are free and that your wedding won’t clash with any normal services.
Q/What happens if one of us lives abroad?
A/ Marriage by Common Licence can take place on the basis of one of the couple living in the parish or regularly going to the church’s normal services without any action being necessary where the other party lives.
Your Vicar will know how to apply for a Common Licence. However, you may well be keen to explore marriage preparation, so this could be an opportunity to meet the Vicar together at some point before the wedding.
Q/ What happens if one of us is a foreign national?
A/ The Church of England has a responsibility to conduct marriages which will be recognised in the country the bride or groom comes from. This is done for the couple’s benefit not just for bureaucracy.
If one of you is a national of a country outside Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the EU or USA, the Church of England’s Faculty Office strongly recommends that these marriages should be done by Common Licence rather than banns.
Some dioceses also ask the person to obtain from the relevant embassy or consulate a letter saying their marriage will be recognised.
For more information on these questions and other aspects of marriage in the Church of England go to www.yourchurchwedding.org
A book that may help you in preparing for both the big day and your future together is available from Church House Publishing: 'Growing Together? A guide for couples getting married'
Thinking about a church wedding?
Read our frequently asked questions to find out more:
Q/ What do Christians believe about marriage?
A/ Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.
Q/ Where can I get married?
A/ Many people like to marry in their local church. Visit www.achurchnearyou.com to find a church in your area, or, see the Church of England’s ‘where to find us’ section. You can also marry in a church if you are on that church's electoral roll.
However, we know that you might like to marry in a different church because it has special significance for you through family or other special connections. An engaged couple can now do just that if either of you can show just one of the following seven connections with the parish.
That one of you:
· was baptised in the parish concerned or
· was prepared for confirmation in the parish or
· has at any time lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or
· has at any time regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or
That one of your parents, at any time after you were born:
· has lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months or
· has regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months or
That one of your parents or grandparents:
· was married in the parish
In all cases involving church services - i.e. going to normal church services, baptism, confirmation or marriage - this applies only to Church of England services. Even if you cannot demonstrate any of the above connections, we want to help you explore whether it may still be possible for you to marry in your special church.
Talk to the Vicar there well in advance to discuss the options open to you.
Q/ I’m not baptised. I don’t go to church. Can I still get married in church?
A/ Yes! . Normally the parish priest will want to get to know you a bit and might ask you to some preparation meetings or church services before you get married.
Q/ How do I book the church?
A/ Booking is easy. Simply get in touch with your local Vicar. He or she will probably wish to meet with you in person to discuss your plans and get to know you a little before the wedding.
Q/ What if I want to be married in a different church?
A/ If you are a regular worshipper in that church, it is usually possible to be married there. Just speak to your minister.
If you are not a regular worshipper why not start attending? You will normally be expected to attend services for some time before becoming eligible to be married there.
If you have a good reason for wanting to marry in another church that is not allowed for in the new legislation, talk to the minister of that church. You can apply for a Special Licence if the minister agrees. To apply or find out more contact The Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, Westminster, London SW1P 3JT tel: 020 7222 5381
Q/ We’ve decided to get married abroad but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible?
A/ There is no reason why you shouldn’t do this, provided your vicar is happy. There is a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony and this can be adapted. There are no legal requirements or set fees.
Q/ I’m divorced. Can I still get married in church?
A/ The Church of England agreed in 2002 that divorced people could remarry in church under certain circumstances. We believe that marriage is for life, but also recognise that sadly, some marriages do fail.
Speak to your Vicar about your situation and there may well be a way forward. He or she will want to talk to you frankly about your past and your hopes for the future and will let you know whether they can remarry you. Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may offer you a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony.
A helpful resource, Marriage in church after divorce, is available on the Church of England web site.
Q/ I’m Church of England and he’s a Catholic. Does that matter?
A/ It doesn’t matter from the Church of England’s perspective. Anyone is welcome to be married in their local CofE parish church. (A complication would only arise if one of you has been married before.)
If one of you is a Roman Catholic and you want the Roman Catholic Church to recognise your marriage, you will need to seek the advice of your Roman Catholic priest about the permission required for marrying a non-Roman Catholic. Some clergy encourage couples in this situation to involve the Catholic priest in the marriage service too. See www.interchurchfamilies.org.uk for more information.
Q/What is marriage preparation and why do we need it?
A/ You will never make such big promises to each other as you will in church on your wedding day. A church wedding uniquely offers time and space to think through these vows and the difference they will make.
You are still two separate individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, hopes and fears. Churches recognise how seriously you take the commitment of marriage and offer an opportunity to talk through the big issues, sometimes as a group with other couples. Talk to your Vicar about what your church offers.
Q/ What are the legal requirements?
A/ Unless you are getting married by Common or Special licence, the normal way is to have your banns read out in church on three Sundays during the three months before your wedding. You would be most welcome to join the church community for the service and to hear them read. The banns must be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as the church in which you are to be married if that is in another parish.
If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.
There are circumstances where some form of licence, such as a common licence or special licence, is more appropriate. Your priest or minister will discuss with you what you need to do.
There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced (See question above).
Q/ How much will it cost?
A/ There is no doubt that the choices you make about your wedding day can make a huge impact on the cost. If you choose to marry in church, we want it to be a day that is personal and special for you, but that need not mean you spend a fortune.
There is a relatively small fee for marrying in a church. The fees are set by the Church of England nationally. The cost of a basic church wedding service is £313.50*, which includes all legal necessities. It may vary for you depending on your circumstances. These fees have ancient origins and make a contribution to the provision of a church in your community.
Flowers, an organist, a choir, bell-ringers, etc, are optional additional services that can be provided by your church. If you ask for any of these, then this will add to the final fee. You will need to work out all these costs with the Vicar early on so that you know what to expect on your final bill. It is good practice for the church to provide you with an itemised bill before your wedding so that you can see exactly what you will be paying for.
This figure is based on a couple living at the same address and marrying outside their own parish and includes:
· the fee set by law payable to the church: £254
· your marriage certificate: £3.50
· having your banns read at the home church: £22
· having your banns read at the church where you will marry: £22
· your banns certificate: £12
Total: £313.50
Q/ Can we be involved in planning the service?
A/ Yes. Your Vicar would also be happy to discuss hymns, other music and readings at your wedding. Plus, you can use our online ceremony planner to help you make a start at www.yourchurchwedding.org
Q/ Should we have one or two rings?
A/ It is entirely up to you whether you have one ring or two. A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of the commitment you are making to each other.
Q/ Can I marry in any other colour than white?
A/ Yes
Q/ Can we have a video recording of the service?
A/ Usually this will be fine, but you will need to ask permission from the Vicar. Some churches have a clear policy for recordings which tends to cover copyright issues.
If you are recording a person’s performance, e.g. an organist or choir, they are entitled to an additional fee, and there may also be copyright issues for recording the hymns or music played during the service. Copyright permission is not required to record the authorised words of the service. Your Vicar will know about these things and will be pleased to advise.
Q/ Do you have rehearsals?
A/ Many people are glad of the opportunity to run through the ceremony and church is the only wedding venue where you can do this as standard practice.
The Vicar taking your service will probably invite you to meet in the church along with other people taking part in the service before the wedding, to talk to you all about what to expect. Talk to your Vicar about what their church offers.
Q/ What about flowers in church?
A/ Many churches can do these for you at a reasonable charge and the flower arranger will be happy to discuss what you want. You can also do your own or engage your own florist.
Q/ May we marry on a Sunday?
A/ Yes. In fact Sunday is the third most popular day for CofE weddings. Just talk to your Vicar to make sure they are free and that your wedding won’t clash with any normal services.
Q/What happens if one of us lives abroad?
A/ Marriage by Common Licence can take place on the basis of one of the couple living in the parish or regularly going to the church’s normal services without any action being necessary where the other party lives.
Your Vicar will know how to apply for a Common Licence. However, you may well be keen to explore marriage preparation, so this could be an opportunity to meet the Vicar together at some point before the wedding.
Q/ What happens if one of us is a foreign national?
A/ The Church of England has a responsibility to conduct marriages which will be recognised in the country the bride or groom comes from. This is done for the couple’s benefit not just for bureaucracy.
If one of you is a national of a country outside Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the EU or USA, the Church of England’s Faculty Office strongly recommends that these marriages should be done by Common Licence rather than banns.
Some dioceses also ask the person to obtain from the relevant embassy or consulate a letter saying their marriage will be recognised.
For more information on these questions and other aspects of marriage in the Church of England go to www.yourchurchwedding.org
